The unbearable price of my morning coffee…

This morning I got angry at my little one for oversleeping, hence making me drive him to school, instead of just dropping him off at the bus stop.  There were no emergencies to deal with or conference calls that would have needed to be changed, just a hot cup of coffee and my morning 20 minutes of quiet that were now lost.  I don’t get to say I am sorry for another 3 hours from now.  I wish I could take it back.  I also wish I could honestly say that I will never go off at my loved ones for something as insignificant as an unplanned 20 minute trip and having to wait for that all important cup of morning coffee.  The truth is, I most likely will.

A few days ago at our local supermarket there was an old lady with a kid (her grand-kid, it turned out) who was buying a few minor things and using two separate food-stamps cards to pay for them.  She was a few bucks short, nothing huge.  I was with my little one doing a huge weekly shop, and we were in the checkout line right behind her.  I paid what she was missing – without even thinking.  My little one asked why I paid for someone else’s groceries, and if daddy would mind.  I remember telling him that daddy would have done the exact same thing, and that I wouldn’t have married him if he wasn’t that kind of person.  My little one, reassured now, tells me that he wouldn’t trade us as parents for the world, and that he too is “that kind of person”, and would have covered that lady’s bill…

Jeff Turner shared a post recently that does a much better job of talking about this very thing than I ever could, which you can read here>>

How do I reconcile the two of me in the eyes of the amazing child I’m raising?

my sweet child...

How do I explain to him that little things he does sometimes drive me crazy, and I might yell at him for no reason at all, and yet I am thoughtful and generous to a total stranger?  That I would drive that same stranger to a hospital without even thinking about it, if asked, while begrudging him a tiny bit of extra sleep on a school morning?

I’d very much like not to have to…. I am hoping that if I simply take a few seconds to breathe before I unleash a barrage of words on my loved ones, I’ll see the immense love and kindness and generosity of spirit that binds me to them more than DNA alone ever could, and maybe, just maybe next time the kiddo oversleeps, I’ll share my 20 minutes of quiet and my first  cup of morning coffee with him, and then drive him to school, singing along to his Spotify list.

I’d like to think that over time those moments can add up and help rewrite some of our collective narratives…

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11 Responses to The unbearable price of my morning coffee…
  1. Vic Yepello
    May 8, 2012 | 12:21 pm

    Oh wouldn’t I just love to un-ring that bell at times? We’ve all had our days I’m sure but your reminder is one that is timely because our busy lives cause us to forget what is really important. And that is the love and respect we owe our loved ones. For aren’t they some of the reason we do all the work we do each day? Why we build that home and business?

  2. Kelly Mitchell
    May 7, 2012 | 9:16 pm

    Who is Onna? :)

    • Inna Hardison
      May 7, 2012 | 10:34 pm

      I was gonna ask you the same thing… I thought maybe it was Inna in Hawaiian:)

  3. elizabeth Cooper-golden
    May 7, 2012 | 7:31 pm

    Inna, Welcome to parenthood my sweet friend, but more importantly, welcome to being human.

    You teach your kids how beautiful your soul is on a daily basis. They are very intelligent and know you are a human, and humans make mistakes. You do have one of the best souls of anyone I”ve known. I appreciate your honesty and soak up the love you share.

    Take it easy on yourself Mom….that beautiful child of yours has your soul, and Jon’s. That is a gift that you share with him daily and one that will shape him for the rest of his life. He’ll forget all about the crabby car ride by the time his little head hits the pillow :) He’ll never forget how much you love him and the life lessons learned along the way.

    Love you girl. Being a parent is HARD work, isn’t it? Maybe we should buy Dr. Spock books. Lol. xoxo

    • Inna Hardison
      May 7, 2012 | 7:50 pm

      My dear Coop – you just so totally made me all teary-eyed. Thank you for this, and screw Dr. Spock crap – that’s what my parents supposedly used, and I am staying as far away from that as I can.
      :-) Love you!

  4. Kelly Mitchell
    May 7, 2012 | 6:08 pm

    Wouldnt it be a perfect world if we could take back the impulsive angry words before they spilled over our lips and onto the ears of the our loved ones.

    I love what you are teaching your kids & how. You set a wonderful example they’ll always remember.

    The great thing about kids is they rarely remember that bitchy impulsive rant they innocently instigated because the beautiful gesture you made to a stranger is just one of the many important memories you’ve instilled in him. That and telling him why you married such an amazing man.

    You’re an incredible woman Onna!

    • Inna Hardison
      May 7, 2012 | 6:47 pm

      Kelly – they’ll recall the bitchy impulsive stuff as well, at least mine will, I think (he tends to remember everything)…
      I just hope the other stuff wins over. Thank you, sweet friend.:-)

  5. Inna Hardison
    May 7, 2012 | 5:32 pm

    Miriam – nah, I’d much prefer to throw my arms around him and just let him know that I screwed up… That other stuff is the very thing that I think too often makes us feel ok about making our loved ones feel like shit.

    • Miriam Bernstein
      May 7, 2012 | 5:45 pm

      he is adorable sounds like a good plan

      • Inna Hardison
        May 7, 2012 | 6:04 pm

        That he is, Miriam. And a good soul:-)

  6. Miriam Bernstein
    May 7, 2012 | 4:11 pm

    How about telling him you are human and not a perfect person like the rest of us. And you are a female as well which he will understand when he gets older…